


Space Business

by allislaughter



Category: The LEGO Movie (2014)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-02
Updated: 2015-04-09
Packaged: 2018-02-19 16:00:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2394413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allislaughter/pseuds/allislaughter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On a night out in town, President Business inadvertently flirts with a random person at the bar, and somehow the two of them get conned into a relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Sometimes, a person just had to go back to their roots and enjoy things as they would have before becoming an evil despot and almost destroying the world only to subsequently turn over a new leaf and somehow not end up in prison despite their heinous crimes and even keep their position of power despite everything. This was not one of those times. No, this was a time for putting on a disguise and heading to one of the cheaper bars in the city to avoid paparazzi, downing a few drinks, and then returning home for the evening before his security bots found out that he had left.

In his younger days, this sort of night would be rife with debauchery, not on his part at least but on any friends he had with him at the time. He just never seemed to be able to pick people up as easily as his old colleagues could, not that he particularly tried hard. He could totally flirt with people if he wanted, and he could take someone home with him if he really cared to. He knew all the best lines too.

"Are those space pants? Because-."

"Why yes they are; thanks for noticing."

He blinked and turned his head towards the younger man next to him who was trying to flag down the bartender. The bartender seemed preoccupied with a young woman fluttering her eyelashes at him, and the young man sighed and looked at him.

"They're space pants," he told him. "See? From the Space Corps and everything."

He glanced down at the insignia and then back up at the man. "Do…" he tried again. "Do you have a mirror in your pocket? 'Cause I could see myself in your pants."

The man glanced down at his pants and shook his head. "Nah, I don't think they'd fit. You look a size larger than me."

He cracked a smile and chuckled. "I like your pants. Think I could talk you out of them?"

The man shook his head again. "Dude, there's a space store just down the road if you want to get your own."

He shrugged. "I can take off my pants in two seconds. How long does it take you?"

"Okay, look, are pants pick-up lines the only ones you know?" the man asked. "Because it was funny at first, but if that's seriously all you know, then I'm worried about whoever else you ever tried to flirt with."

"N-No, of course not," he insisted. "I know plenty of others. Tons. Why wouldn't I?"

The man shook his head. "Man, of course _I'd_ be the one to run into you while you're drunk."

"Sorry?" he asked. "Do I know you…?"

"No, I guess you wouldn't…" The man sighed and got up. "Alright, let me help you get back home. And seriously, man? Groucho Marx glasses? Is that the best disguise you could come up with?"

He frowned and pulled off the glasses and then slipped them into his pocket. Then, the young man he was inadvertently flirting with led him out of the bar and tried to flag down a taxi. Not bad, at least, he decided. Whoever this guy was, he _was_ attractive. Of course, that could just be the number of drinks he had talking.

The next thing he knew, they were pulling in front of his mansion, outside the gates and still a pretty decent walking distance from the entrance, and the young man was paying the driver out of something that looked oddly like his wallet. The young man then pushed him out of the cab and slipped the wallet into his back pocket, and then spent the next minute explaining… something… through the gate intercom until it opened and the man led him in.

"You owe me a drink, by the way," the man told him. "I didn't go to that bar just to end up being the designated driver."

"You didn't drive," he answered.

"Same thing," the man sighed. "Seriously, dude, a drink. You owe me."

"I have drinks inside," he continued. "All sorts of drinks."

"And yet, you went to a bar," the man observed. "A cheap one. Did you even pay before we left?"

"Uhhhh…"

He shook his head. "Never mind. Okay, look, I'll stay for one drink, and then I'm out of here. This is awkward enough. Ew, were you really _flirting_ with me?"

"Uhhhh…"

"Never _mind_ ," the man sighed.

They got to the doors and the robot servants immediately opened them as they approached and ushered them inside. The robots immediately pulled him away, insisting that he need to get ready for bed and that he had important work in the morning and they wouldn't listen to his insistence to stop and he could only glance over his shoulder as the young man chatted with another robot who nodded and took him the opposite direction.

He pouted and gave in, and he let his robots do as they were programmed to, and soon he was in bed and the robots chorused "Good night, President Business" at him before shutting the door behind them.

The next morning left him slightly more sober than the night before, and by the time he had his coffee and breakfast he was ready to face the day. He didn't even remember the night before until he passed by a room in his mansion and heard voices as he passed. He paused and listened at the door.

"Yeah, he was totally using pants themed pick-up lines. He probably didn't mean it, but you know how drunk people are."

"Of course. I have to deal with them all the time." A sigh. "That explains the tabloids, at least."

He frowned and pushed open the door to find Bad Cop interrogating some vaguely familiar, hot-but-scruffy guy. "What tabloids?" he demanded.

Good Cop smiled at him. "Good morning, President Business. Did you sleep well last night?"

"What tabloids, Bad Cop?" Business insisted.

Bad Cop cleared his throat and passed over a copy of The Bricksburg Rag with a surprisingly good photo of Business and the hot guy leaving a bar with the headline "President Business Takes Homeless Guy Home".

"Huh, that's actually pretty catchy," Mr. Hot Guy commented. "Show him the other one. That one makes it seem more scandalous."

Good Cop smiled and passed over the day's National Brickquirer. "President Business Flirts With Younger Man".

"Oh my gosh!" Business dropped the tabloid and looked up at Mr. Hot Guy. "I forgot I- I'm so sorry. You must think I'm a creep."

Mr. Hot Guy grinned. "Well, most of us do, but not for that reason."

"President Business, sir," Bad Cop said. "You may not remember him, but this is Benny. He's one of the Master Builders who was helping the Special during the TAKOS Tuesday incident."

"I'm the 1980s something space guy?" Benny offered.

"Oh, _right,_ you," Business nodded. "Wait, so I flirted with a Master Builder…? Still, you're only, what, thirty or something? No wonder the tabloids think this is scandalous."

Benny shook his head. "Well, to be honest… I'm older than you."

"Wait, what?" Business frowned at him. "But I'm fifty. How are you older?"

"There was an accident with the 1980s Space Corps astronauts that I'm not supposed to divulge specifics about," Benny shrugged. "But, basically, it kind of made us stuck looking thirty."

"That's weird," Business frowned. "So how old _are_ you, in that case?"

"Sixty," Benny nodded.

"Unfortunately, there's no telling the press that," Bad Cop replied, sighing. "The best way to handle this is to lay low until they forget about the incident."

Benny nodded. "Yeah, I mean, it's not like you actually meant to flirt with me, right?"

Business shrugged. "I dunno, you _are_ pretty attractive."

"Dude!" Benny pulled a disgusted look. "What happened to thinking not wanting me to think you were a creep?"

"That was because I thought you were twenty years younger," Business answered. "But you're not. You're ten years older, so that makes it okay, right?"

"Dude. Dude, no." Benny shook his head.

"Hey, I just don't see why I should apologize for my actions if there's no need to," Business countered. "It's not like _you're_ into me, so there's no problem here, is there?"

Benny's face turned red and Bad Cop looked away immediately as Business furrowed his brow in confusion.

"Wait, _no_. Seriously?" Business laughed. "You. You're into me. _Me._ You're kidding."

"It's not _my_ fault you're the only one close to my age who's flirted with me in years," Benny argued, a bit louder and higher pitched than he probably meant to be.

They lapsed into silence for a few moments, with Good occupying his time cleaning up the immediate area, Benny avoiding eye contact with anyone, and Business watching Benny closely.

"Want to go out?" Business asked.

"NO," Benny insisted, aghast and red once more.

"You totally want to go out," Business teased. "Admit it."

"Dude, I'd run out _right now_ if it weren't for the fact that the paparazzi are outside already," Benny hissed at him.

"Oh." Business hummed and shrugged. "Well, I guess you're stuck here, then."

" _Dude!_ "

"We, uh…" Bad cleared his throat. "We _could_ have Benny sneak out through the hidden tunnel…"

" _Please_ ," Benny insisted, standing up.

Business sighed. "Okay, _fine_ , if we have to. Seriously though, Friday at eight?"

"Wednesday," Benny sighed. "Eight is fine. I'll, uh… Meet you here?"

"Perfect," Business nodded. "See you then."

Benny made a noise that seemed almost like a whimper, but he still flashed a thumbs up as he followed Good Cop away to the secret tunnel.

_"Oh yeah,"_ he thought to himself. _"I can totally pick up people too."_


	2. Chapter 2

Business adjusted his tie and looked at his reflection smiling before turning towards the robot next to him. "How do I look?"

"Wonderful, sir," the robot answered.

He frowned. "Oh, you're just programmed to say that."

"Yes, sir."

He sighed and tugged off the tie, tossing it onto a pile behind him. "Okay, let's see, black suit, white shirt… Solid color tie would be best… Maybe if I try coordinating with his outfit…"

Someone knocked on the door and the robot went to answer it. Another robot stepped in. "Sir, your date has just arrived."

"Perfect," he grinned. "What's he wearing?"

The robot paused for a moment. "Blue."

He dropped his smile. "Okay. What shade of blue?"

"...Blue, sir."

He sighed. "I really need to update your color catalogs." He went to his closest and pulled a rack of blue ties. "Which of these matches best?"

The robot pulled down a tie and handed it to him. "This one, sir."

He glanced at the label on it. "Oh, you actually meant _blue_ blue, as in pure blue, okay." Business quickly tied it and folded down his collar, checking himself in the mirror once before slipping on his suit jacket and heading for the door. "You two, put away those ties on the floor. I've got a date."

"Yes, sir," they chimed as he walked away.

He made his way to the front entrance where some twenty-something-year-old homeless guy chatted with Good Cop. He blinked until he recognized the auburn hair and steel-blue eyes and abundance of freckles on the person's face. "Wow, you look…"

"Yeah?" Benny asked him.

" _Horrible,_ " Business answered. "Wow, have you ever even seen a suit in your life?"

Benny rolled his eyes. "Hey, at least I shaved for this."

"But I like the stubble," Business argued. "It makes you look less like a child."

"That's why I normally keep it," Benny mumbled.

"What was that?"

"Nothing." Benny smiled and looked at Bad Cop. "Thanks for the ride. I figured it'd be less suspicious if it were just you driving up rather than me landing my spaceship here."

"There's not even a place for you to land a spaceship here anyway," Bad Cop frowned.

Business made a mental note to install a spaceship landing pad in the backyard. He shook his head and looked over Benny again. "Alright, well, I know where we're going first on our date."

"Yeah?" Benny asked. "Where's that? I got the picture that I'm obviously underdressed."

"Got that right," Business nodded. "We're getting you to a tailor."

Benny winced. "Dude, you don't need to…"

"Nonsense," Business answered, pushing him along. "We're not going out in public if you're going to look like that. Don't worry, I have a tailor on site who would be happy to whip up something for you."

Bad Cop followed behind them. "Sir, it's just been a week since you and Benny were caught together before. I don't think it's a good idea for you to go out in public with him just yet."

"If this keeps up, they'll find out eventually," Business reminded. "Besides, what's the worst that they'll say?"

"President Business caught in illicit relationship with younger man," Benny offered. "Your reputation drops immediately and, uh… Wow, I just realized; you don't have any way to be thrown out of office. Like, ever."

"Exactly," he nodded. He pushed Benny into a room and whistled. "Hey, I have someone here who needs a suit."

A robot showed up immediately. "Yes, sir. Who requires the suit?"

"This guy," Business answered, shoving Benny forward. "Make sure you get it ready as soon as possible. Aaaand, make it match my tie color. Thanks."

The robot nodded and pulled Benny along. "This way, sir."

"Wait, I…" Benny disappeared behind another door. "Hey, watch it! Don't just rip off- Ah, your hands are cold! Stop that!"

Bad Cop sighed and shook his head. "Sir, perhaps you should have _warned_ him first?"

"I tried warning _you_ and you almost punched off the robot's head anyway," Business retorted. "Besides, it'll be fine."

Mere seconds later, Benny tripped through the door back into the main room and looked at himself in the mirrors propped up around them. "Wait, isn't this the exact same as _your_ suit, but in blue?" he asked.

"Well, of course," Business answered. "You don't think I'm going to have a Master Builder as a robot tailor, do you?"

"Dude, custom stuff isn't all bad," Benny sighed. "Besides, I thought you were over your hate of people doing weird stuff."

Business frowned and nodded. "I am. Did you… uh… want to do something to customize your suit?"

Benny hummed in thought and then grinned. "I'll be right back." He jumped back into the other room with the robot, and after a minute of incomprehensible shouts and clanging, Benny finally walked out again, looking exactly as he did a moment before.

"Did you just..." Business narrowed his eyes. "Did you just beat up my robot?"

"What?" Benny shook his head. "Dude, no, I didn't touch your robot. Look." He pointed at his lapel.

"Aw!" Good Cop laughed. "You have a Space Corps lapel pin!"

"Yeah!" Benny beamed. "Alright, am I good to go now?"

Business nodded. "Yes. Now, come on, I got us dinner reservations at this great place…"

"Sir," Bad Cop interrupted. "I still think…"

"Never you mind, Bad Cop," Business sighed.

"Sorry, dude," Benny smiled apologetically at Bad Cop as he followed Business out.

They went to the garage and Business flick on the light to reveal a number of different cars. Benny lifted his brow and hummed. Business frowned and shrugged at him.

"I like variety," he told him

"Nah, man, it's okay," Benny replied. "We all already know you overcompensate."

"I do not," Business argued.

"Then what was the deal with those gigantic boots and your ridiculously tall tower?" Benny asked.

"It's- It's not because I was _overcompensating_ ," he insisted. "It was for… y'know, intimidation."

"Oh, _sure_ it was," Benny chuckled. "Which one are we taking?"

Business rolled his eyes. "You know, why don't _you_ pick?"

"Black sports car, second row on the left, three back," Benny answered immediately.

He blinked and glanced to the car in question. "Wow, really?"

"Yes," Benny nodded.

"You had something in mind, huh?" he laughed, leading Benny down the stairs. "I like that, that you know what you want."

Benny shook his head and just followed him to the car, taking the passenger seat while Business took the driver's side.

"Ready for the fun part?" Business asked.

"Yeah, how exactly does this get out on the street?" Benny asked.

There was a loud CLUNK and a jolt beneath them, and suddenly a platform lifted the car down a level until it stopped with a hydraulic hiss. Lights turned on, guiding their way to the exit, where city lights could be seen in the distance.  Without another word, Business started the car and stepped on the gas, and they were speeding out of the tunnel, Benny laughing gleefully beside him.

After they got onto the main street, Business slowed down to obey speed limits. He turned towards Benny for a moment to grin. "I figured that's why you wanted this one."

"Dude, I build spaceships as a hobby," Benny laughed. "I like to go fast."

"You really do like space, huh?" Business asked. "Well, I guess that's why you're a space guy."

Benny nodded and leaned back. "Yeah. Where're we going, anyway?"

"The In Spire," Business answered.

"Wow, I, uh…" Benny hummed a bit. "Actually, I haven't heard of that one. Is it new?"

"Yeah, it is," Business nodded. "I think you'll like it. Maybe. I don't actually know you that well, so I _hope_ you like it."

"Relax, man," Benny laughed. "As long as we can get decent food, I'm down it with it. Err, you _are_ paying right? Knowing you, it'll be an expensive place…"

Business coughed. "Y-Yeah. I'll pay. I mean, you probably couldn't even afford that suit if I didn't just give it to you, so…"

"Dude, harsh."

"Sorry." Business shrugged. "We'll be there in about twenty minutes."


	3. Chapter 3

"DUDE."

Business flinched and then frowned at Benny, furrowing his monobrow. "What?"

"A skyscraper, dude?" Benny asked, looking up the length of the building. "Oh my gosh, it goes on forever. Well, not as much as your office tower, but from down here…"

He rolled his eyes and pushed Benny along, towards the revolving doors. "Yes, well, we both know the best view will be at the top."

"Dude!"

"I already gave my car to the valet, and we have reservations to make, so get your butt moving." Business shoved Benny into the door and then followed in behind him, meeting with Benny again on the other side.

"Now…" Benny shook his head and looked over at the elevator. "When you say the restaurant is called the 'In Spire'…"

"It's _in_ the spire," Business answered. "They added it after the TAKOS Tuesday incident-"

"Freedom Friday," Benny mumbled.

"Right, that. And they dedicated it to all the Master Builders and the creative ideas people are free to have now…" Business shrugged and pulled him along to the elevators. "I figured that'd be up your alley."

"And _you're_ taking me there," Benny laughed, shaking his head. " _Wow_. Weird, I wonder why I haven't heard about it…"

"Well, it's still a high-class restaurant," Business answered as he pressed the button for the highest floor on the elevator panel. "From what I heard, they only openly gave Brickowski guaranteed reservations for life. But, you know, he doesn't quite have the money to afford it."

Benny nodded. "Yeah, I can believe that. That they wouldn't offer it to other Master Builders, I mean. Even if we _did_ help stop you from destroying the world."

"Well, we don't need to keep bringing that up, now do we?" Business asked him.

Shrugging, Benny looked up to the number and watched at is steadily climbed higher and higher. As he stared, Business slowly leaned over and whispered to him.

"Nervous?" he asked, smiling as Benny jumped.

"Dude, no way," Benny answered. "I've been miles above the ground, to the point where up and down are the same thing. I've sat on heavy explosives that could go off and kill me if anyone did the wrong thing. I'm not nervous because of an elevator dangling by a cable is taking me hundreds of meters above the ground."

"Meters?" Business chuckled. "Really?"

"The acceleration of gravity is 9.8 meters per second squared," Benny mumbled. The number passed the fiftieth floor. "We're approximately 183 meters up. If we were to enter freefall right now, it'd take approximately 6.11 seconds to hit the ground, provided there isn't a basement, at which point we'll be travelling at a velocity of approximately 60 meters per second."

"Is that bad?" Business asked, glancing to the still increasing number.

"That's a little less than 200 feet per second," Benny answered. "That's us shooting past sixteen floors in a single second."

"Y-You're doing that to freak me out," Business accused.

Benny nodded. "Yeah, totally. Elevators have emergency brakes and really strong cables. We're not going to just go into freefall just like that. Besides, there's friction, so it wouldn't be perfect freefall."

"Wow, you're a jerk, aren't you?" Business asked, frowning at him.

He clicked his tongue and winked. "Takes one to know one."

Business shook his head, and they said nothing else until they made it to their destination at the entrance to the In Spire. Business held the door open for Benny who laughed quietly as he walked in.

"Reservation under the name Business," he said as they approached the maitre'd.

"Yes, of course," they nodded. "Right this way."

They made it to their table a few seconds later, right against the window, and Benny forewent his seat to go straight up to the window, breathing out a quiet "oh my gosh" at the sight of the city lights below them.

Business chuckled and opened his menu, glancing over the choices provided. "Amazing sight, isn't it?" he asked.

"You weren't kidding, I'll give you that," Benny agreed. "It's almost like looking down at stars… Since, you know, all the light pollution makes it impossible to see any lights in the sky besides planes."

"That's just how it is in the city," Business answered, shaking his head. "I didn't ask, do you drink wine? Do you have a preference?" He waited for an answer and glanced up when he didn't receive one. "Ben- OH MY GOSH."

The entire restaurant looked over at his shout, and it went dead silent when they all saw the missing window pane and the missing man who had been standing there before. Suddenly, a head popped up again, followed by a body, and Benny dragged the window pane back into the restaurant and set it on the floor beside the table.

"Whoever installed that window did it wrong," Benny told the manager as he rushed over to their table. "If it were anyone else, they could have died."

"Can we get a table _away_ from the window?" Business asked, narrowing his eyes at the manager.

"Yes, of course," the manager nodded. "Order anything you want, on the house. I'm so sorry about this."

"Oh, no, I just want a safer table while I call my lawyer," Business answered, smiling. "You're a restaurant on the top of a _skyscraper_. The fact you don't follow structural safety codes is worrisome."

Benny nodded. "As much as I don't want to agree with him, I kind of have to… Though, by the looks of it, that's the only window that's installed wrong. I could fix it right now. Business, you don't _have_ to sue them."

"You could fix it?" the manager asked.

"I'm a Master Builder," Benny answered, shrugging. "Buildings aren't my specialty, but I've installed plenty of windows with the intent that nothing has the chance of budging them." He glanced at the other windows. "Yeah, I can fix it, if you don't mind me taking apart this table."

"Please," the manager pleaded. "I'll give you guaranteed reservations for life if you can. Free meals for the next two years. Whatever you want."

"Well, I know what _I_ want," Business answered.

"You're not the one who fell through the window, Busy," Benny told him. He pulled off his suit jacket and handed it to Business. "Just get someone in here to double check the structural integrity of the place by tomorrow at the latest. And guaranteed reservations and free meals for both me and Business here would be nice." He grinned and tacked on "For life."

The manager deflated, but nodded. "Your name?"

"Benjamin Chu," Benny answered as he moved aside the things on the table.

"Aren't you one of the Master Builders that helped the Special save the universe?" the manager asked.

Benny nodded and flipped over the table and pried off metal pieces from it. "I'm one of them, yeah," he answered. "Business, go get us another table. I'll meet you after I finish."

Business sighed, but nodded and motioned for the manger to get to work. Soon, Business was seated closer to the center of the room, and he watched as Benny put the window together, somehow managing to get it to blend in with the others for as much as the parts holding it in were different. Benny pressed against the window again to check if it would budge and then walked over. He took the jacket as it was offered and slipped it back on before sitting.

"Not bad for a first date, huh?" Benny laughed.

"Not that I'm complaining…" Business frowned at him. "But how did you not die falling out a window like that?"

"I can float," Benny answered. "I can make other things float too. Push yourself up so you're not sitting and your feet aren't on the ground."

Business furrowed his brow but pushed himself up by the sides of his seat.

"Now let go."

He did so and gasped as he floated in place until a moment later when he dropped the inch back onto his cushioned chair. "Oof! Okay, wow, weird. And that thing you said about making windows that don't budge…?"

"Safety first, up in space, dude," Benny answered. "You can't have windows that open when you're in a vacuum. You think Master Builders don't care about safety and making sure things work? ...Well, okay, some don't, and it usually works better if we work alone, but, you know what, I want food. I'm going to stop talking and look at this menu."

Business shook his head and chuckled. "And I never got an answer about the wine thing, so I just asked them to get us some water. You sure you don't want me to sue?"

"I'm sure, man," Benny sighed. "Good call on the water."

"No, really though, you did handle that well," Business nodded. "Free food for life for both of us. Good call, even though I probably would have asked for more."

"I'm not _totally_ cruel, dude," Benny mumbled.

"But you admit to being cruel at all," Business pointed out.

Benny shook his head and drew his fingers over his lips to zip them shut. He looked over the menu and glanced up as the waitress came with their water. He let Business order first and then ordered his own meal.

After they finished, Business stood up, smiling at Benny. "Ready to go?"

"Tip," Benny told him.

Business frowned. "You fell out their window and had to fix it yourself. We don't need to-."

" _Tip_ ," Benny insisted. "The restaurant being faulty has nothing to do with the waitress."

He sighed. "I guess I could leave a few bucks…"

"Fifteen at least," Benny answered.

"Isn't that a bit much?"  Business frowned.

"It's not even fifteen percent of what we would have spent on food," Benny answered. "Leaving twenty-four dollars would be better, but you seem too stingy for that."

"I'm-! I'm not stingy." Business pulled out his wallet, counted, and tossed twenty-five onto the table. "Happy?"

Benny nodded, grinning, and stood. "Yeah. Let's go."

Business nodded and led him back to the elevator. "It's late," he pointed out once the door shut in front of them. He pressed the button for the ground floor. "Did you want me to give you a ride back to your place?"

Benny shook his head. "Nah, the Cops said they'd give me a ride back."

He frowned and sighed. "You know, you _could_ just stay over. I have plenty of room."

"Well, I, uh…" Benny stared at the number as it slowly counted down. "I'll get my own bed?" he mumbled quietly.

"You'll get your own _wing_ if you want," Business insisted, rolling his eyes. "You know, it's weird, you said that as if you don't have your… own… Uh…" He squinted at Benny, watching the other man as he stared down at his feet. "You… You really _are_ a homeless guy?"

Benny shook his head. "Not entirely. I just… I've been living in my spaceship for a while."

"Your spaceship," Business repeated. "And where would that be?"

"In a field somewhere out of the city."

"Parked illegally," Business surmised.

Benny grinned and shrugged. "Maybe."

Business sighed and shook his head. "Alright, you're staying the night, and I won't have you argue that. We'll figure out what to do with your homeless butt in the morning."

He sighed and nodded. "Okay. Uh… Thanks, man. That's really nice of you."

He felt his face grow hot and he looked away. "Don't mention it. Really. I mean it. Don't mention it."

"Not a word," Benny agreed.

They stood awkwardly in silence as the elevator made its way to the bottom floor.


	4. Chapter 4

Business yawned as he stretched his arms, before hammering one down on the infernal beeping next to him, somehow managing to shut off the alarm clock without breaking it. He breathed deeply and then went through his morning routine before heading for breakfast, only to be stopped by one of his robots.

"President Business, sir," the robot stayed in front of him no matter how many times he tried to step past.

"What is it?" he demanded, furrowing his brow. "I haven't eaten yet."

"That's just it, sir," the robot answered. "Your guest is insisting on changing the normal Thursday breakfast."

"What guest?" he asked, lifting his brow in confusion. "I don't remember… Oh, right, _that_ guy. Well, take me to him. I'll sort this out."

"Yes, sir," the robot answered before leading Business down to the kitchen where the robot chefs were watching closely as Benny, dressed in the pajama pants and oversized t-shirt he borrowed from Good Cop, an obvious fact from the fact they were purple and had puppies on them, cooked something in the sauce pan on the stove.

"And, see, you just whisk it for about eight minutes until it thickens, and that's how you make hollandaise sauce," Benny explained. "And then you put that to the side and to keep warm as you poach the eggs."

Business cleared his throat, and Benny turned towards him, showing the apron he wore reading "01001011 01101001 01110011 01110011 the Chef", obviously something he borrowed from one of the robots. Benny grinned at him and waved.

"I'm making breakfast," he told him before turning back to the stove. "Now, to poach the eggs, you-."

" _Why_ are you making breakfast?" Business asked. "I have robot chefs for a reason."

"You have a perfectly stocked kitchen and you're wasting it on having apple cinnamon oatmeal," Benny countered. "Do you know how boring that is?"

"I like boring," Business retorted. He watched as Benny began to poach the eggs and cleared his throat again. "But, uh… Out of curiosity, what are you making?"

"You know what eggs Benedict is?" Benny asked.

"Yeah?" Business asked.

"Replace the ham with smoked salmon and the english muffin with two halves of a croissant," Benny answered. "I'm calling it eggs Daniel since Good Cop insisted I use croissants."

"Is that why you have three plates set up?" Business frowned as he looked at the counter beside Benny.

"Totally," Benny nodded. "Now, your robots wanted me to teach them how to make this, so stop interrupting. Also, Bad Cop wanted to show you today's tabloids, if you want to go ahead and meet him while I finish this up."

"Well, I…" Business sighed and slumped his shoulders. "Okay, _fine_."

He glanced over his shoulder as he left, watching as Benny began to explain the poached eggs process, and he then shook his head and continued into the next room where Bad Cop sat with a cup of coffee and a few different tabloid newspapers. Business slipped into his seat at the end of the table, and Bad Cop flinched and lowered both the newspaper he was reading and his mug from his lips.

"Eggs Daniel, huh?" he asked, furrowing his brow.

"It was Benny's idea," Bad Cop insisted.

"He said Good Cop insisted he use croissants?" Business pressed on.

"Well, I…" Good Cop smiled nervously as Business gave a sigh.

"Forget it," Business answered, shaking his head. "Not like I was looking forward to apple cinnamon oatmeal or anything."

"You're dating a Master Builder, sir," Bad Cop replied. "By nature, he'll do things differently than you are used to, to the point that you have to get used to changes."

"You've say that as if you dated one before," Business groaned, rubbing his temples. He paused and then looked up at him. "Wait, have you?"

Bad Cop cleared his throat. "That's unimportant, sir."

"You have! Okay, spill, who was it?"

"Sir."

"Was it Batman? Picking up someone on the rebound, eh? After he and his girlfriend broke up?"

" _Sir_."

"Oh, I know, it was Wonder Woman!"

"Sir, please."

"Statue of Liberty? You'd be into French girls, right? Or Michelangelo? Maybe Michelangelo? I'm not judging you if you dated a turtle, so you know."

"It was Benny," Good Cop blurted. "We dated Benny."

Business stared. "You're kidding."

"Yes," Bad Cop answered. "Now, sir, about these tabloids…"

Business rolled his eyes. "Okay, fine, you have my attention. What do they say?"

Bad Cop sighed and read over the different articles. "President Business's younger Master Builder date falls out window - gets free meals for life. President Business - Stingy tipper, generous lover?. President Business dating younger men. Astronaut Benjamin Chu clean shaven for first time in eight years."

"Wait, what was that last one?" Business interrupted.

"Space Corps Daily," Good Cop answered, holding up the paper. "Benny asked me to pick it up. They always post funny articles about inane things having to do with any of the astronauts."

"Huh… Okay." Business shrugged. "But really, Bad Cop, what are you so worried about with the tabloids? Who cares what they say about me? It's like Benny said, they can't really throw me out of power."

"If you get embarrassed, you might want to step down from power, sir," Bad Cop answered. "Or you might want to break up with Benny."

"That's just stupid," Business answered, rolling his eyes. "Why would _I_ get embarrassed enough to do either of those things?"

Bad Cop glanced towards the kitchen and then leaned closer. "Sir, why do you think Benny shaved before your date?"

"Wait…" Business gasped. "He wants to throw me out of office?!"

"No!" Bad Cop sighed and shook his head. "He was trying to get you to lose interest in him."

"Oh." Business furrowed his brow. "Wait, why? Does he not actually want to date me or something? But I'm such hot stuff. Who wouldn't want to date me?"

Bad Cop pursed his lips and didn't answer. Business flattened his brow and frowned.

"Shut up," he ordered.

"I didn't say anything, sir," Bad Cop answered.

"I know. Shut up."

Bad Cop sighed. "Yes, sir."

Benny came into the room then, no longer wearing the apron but carrying a tray with their food on it while the robots brought in mugs of coffee and a pot to refill Bad Cop's cup. Benny passed out the food and thanked the robot once it handed him his mug.

"Thank you for teaching us how to make eggs Daniel, Mr. Chu, sir," the other robot chimed.

"Benny," he corrected. "Call me Benny."

"Yes sir, Mr. Benny."

Benny chuckled and shook his head as the robots retreated back into the kitchen. "Are all the robots here so formal?" he asked.

"Most of them," Bad Cop answered. Good Cop looked down at the meal and licked his lips. "This looks delicious…"

Business nodded his agreement. "Yeah, it really does. Where'd you learn how to cook?"

Benny shrugged. "Cooking shows, cookbooks, talking to other people, stuff like that. It's not that hard to learn."

"I didn't think a Master Builder could follow instructions enough to cook things," Business mused.

"Dude," Benny frowned. "You can't create what you want if you don't know _how_. And you know the best way to learn how to do something right initially?"

"Uh…" Business glanced to Bad Cop for help, but Good Cop was busy stuffing his face.

"Instructions, man," Benny sighed, rolling his eyes. "How could I create a dish called eggs Daniel without knowing how to poach eggs or make hollandaise sauce like I want? Unless you want me to fake it and give us all salmonella when I cook the eggs wrong."

"Okay, fine, I get your point," Business answered, holding up his hands in defense. He sighed and looked down at his meal and then hummed a short note. "Now that you mention it, you _sure_ this doesn't have salmonella?"

Benny flattened his brow and then shoved a forkful of his meal into his mouth. Business shook his head and started on his own food.

"Not bad," Business offered between bites, and he smiled at Benny's grin, though the space guy definitely looked away to hide it. He had to time this right… A few more bites and then… "So, Bad Cop told me you're trying to make me lose interest in you."

Bad Cop choked, switching in while Good Cop was still eating, and Benny slammed down his silverware to glare at him. Business grinned at the perfect timing and leaned closer to Benny's place to his right. "Come on, Ben, you can tell me the truth. I won't be mad. Well, a little, but I've been taking anger management lessons, so it's not like I'd throw you out a window or anything."

"I _float_ ," Benny reminded.

"Oh, right, well." Business shrugged. "Well, what's the deal with thing and the thing?"

Benny sighed. "Okay, well." He held his hands up to one side to emphasize his point. "You're creepy." He motioned them to the other side. "I don't want to like you- Date you. Don't want to date you."

Business laughed. "Don't want to _like_ me?"

"Date you!" Benny argued. "Don't want to date you!"

"You just can't stay tied down, can you?" Business jeered playfully. "Is that why you and Bad Cop broke up?"

"What?" Benny lifted his brow and then gasped and glared at Bad Cop again. "Dude, what did you tell him?"

"I _told_ him I was _lying_ about that," Bad answered, frowning in return.

"Good, because you totally were. Not cool man, don't be spreading rumors." Benny picked up his fork again, but set it down as Business placed his hand over his. He sighed and shook his head. "Dude, I don't want to talk about it."

"You know, it's really endearing that you use 80s slang at sixty," Business answered, rolling his eyes. "Even if you don't _look_ sixty…"

"You're a huge jerk, you know that?" Benny snapped at him, pulling his hand away. "Even if you aren't a 'bad guy' anymore, you have the least tact of anyone I ever met. And I've meet aliens whose cultures tell them to be completely blunt and honest."

"Well, I…" Business sighed. "Okay, maybe I am, but c'mon, that's no reason to try and trick me into losing interest in you instead of just telling me that you don't want a relationship." At Benny's flinch, he smirked and winked. "I'm not the only jerk here, am I?"

"Just eat your darn breakfast, Busy," Benny mumbled.

"Oh, familiar enough to use _nicknames_ , are we?" Business countered.

"Dude, I will throw this coffee in your face."

"Fine," Business shrugged. "But sometime, probably soon, you have to tell me just _why_ you don't want to like me."

"Besides everything you've done to Master Builders ever?" Benny mumbled. "I can forgive, but I won't forget, _Lord_ Business."

Business frowned. "But I…" He trailed off and looked up when Good Cop cleared his throat, and he sighed and slumped in his chair. "Fine…" he mumbled, stabbing his breakfast with his fork in annoyance.

Benny and Bad Cop finished first, and Bad Cop ushered Benny away for a change of clothes and an offer to take him back to his spaceship. Business just sat there, and neither he nor Benny said anything as Good Cop hurried Benny away.


End file.
